Todd Barry on Twitter RSS

http://twitter.com/toddbarry

Todd Barry (b. March 26, 1964 in The Bronx, New York City) is an American stand-up comedian, actor and voice actor, known for his touring comedy show as well as a host of guest appearances on shows like Home Movies, Aqua Teen Hunger Force and Dr. Katz; Professional Therapist.

• toddbarry: #ThingsIwannaTellYouButCant "You're welcome." (after you say "Thanks.")

  01:15:11 am on February 3, 2012 |
   

• toddbarry: I will now participate in the trending topic #ThingsIwannaTellYouButCant

  01:14:38 am on February 3, 2012 |
   

• toddbarry: "Especially" is not strong enough a word. RT @WholeFoods Anyone especially excited about the new VW dog commercial? #WFMdish

  01:13:30 am on February 3, 2012 |
   

• toddbarry: Ate lunch at @Twitter HQs. Drank something called "Grapefruit Water." I bet at FB u can drink something called "Grapefruit JUICE." YEAH!

  12:59:40 am on February 3, 2012 |
   

• toddbarry: New slogan for San Francisco: "We have lots of hotels you probably wouldn't want to stay at."

  11:33:01 pm on February 2, 2012 |
   

• toddbarry: RT @mrdavehill: What- is this @toddbarry's brother's car? Haha! ROFL!: http://t.co/bxPEzVmo

  08:49:22 pm on February 2, 2012 |
   

• toddbarry: @AmericanAir I'm a celebrity, too. Like @JimGaffigan. Can you renew my Gold Status even though I missed by a few miles? THANKS!!!!!!

  08:40:38 pm on February 2, 2012 |
   

• toddbarry: #wtfwasithinking when I CHOSE to stand there for 30 SECONDS while that old lady carried in 15 bags of groceries

  08:00:25 pm on February 2, 2012 |
   

• toddbarry: I will now participate in the trending topic #wtfwasithinking

  07:59:04 pm on February 2, 2012 |
   

• toddbarry: #liesbrokepeopletell I have to stop drinking LIQUID GOLD. It makes me have to pee in my PLATINUM toilet.

  07:48:36 pm on February 2, 2012 |
   

• toddbarry: #liesbrokepeopletell I love eating lobster off a plate made of diamonds.

  07:46:25 pm on February 2, 2012 |
   

• toddbarry: I will now participate in the trending topic #liesbrokepeopletell

  07:41:32 pm on February 2, 2012 |
   

• toddbarry: I may have used "whose" instead of "who's," but I know the right word to describe the whole incident: "SCANDAL."

  07:32:55 pm on February 2, 2012 |
   

• toddbarry: When I go to @Twitter HQ today, I'll them there should be a way to edit grammar in tweets w/o having to delete.

  07:28:47 pm on February 2, 2012 |
   

• toddbarry: I didn't use "who's" in my last tweet b/c it means "who is," not "who has." But "whose" is probably wrong, too.

  07:20:26 pm on February 2, 2012 |
   

• toddbarry: Having lunch at @Twitter HQ today. I bet they're excited to meet "the guy whose never been unfollowed."

  06:57:07 pm on February 2, 2012 |
   

• toddbarry: Hotel clerk gave man room on 15th fl. then said "we don't have an elevator." Yes, it was a joke, but a very cruel & hurtful one!

  01:37:58 am on February 2, 2012 |
   

• toddbarry: http://t.co/y881XfHq - Trying this again! Hey @michaelianblack. Check out this video I made on a plane!!

  07:12:07 pm on February 1, 2012 |
   

• toddbarry: #3WordsThatWomenHate 1.IBoughtAGallonOfYour 2.FavoriteIceCream 3.ButIAteItOnTheRideBackFromTheGroceryStore

  06:14:44 pm on February 1, 2012 |
   

• toddbarry: #3WordsThatWomenHate 1. IAmToo 2. Tired 3. ToDoTheWildThingWithYouTonight

  06:10:46 pm on February 1, 2012 |
   

• toddbarry: #3WordsThatWomenHate Crosby Stills Nash

  06:06:23 pm on February 1, 2012 |
   

• toddbarry: I will now participate in the trending topic #3WordsThatWomenHate

  06:06:09 pm on February 1, 2012 |
   

• toddbarry: Dude on my flight has green shoes. I have several green shirts, but green shoes is cuckoo bananas.

  04:43:57 pm on February 1, 2012 |
   

• toddbarry: @SamSeder "Yachting Channel." Decent joke!

  04:37:39 pm on February 1, 2012 |
   

• toddbarry: Guy next to me at airport just took a multi-vitamin. Hope doesn't start STEAMING KALE on the flight.

  04:21:52 pm on February 1, 2012 |
   

• toddbarry: People at airport complaining TV is too loud. Can't wait to see their faces when I pull out my TRAVEL KETTLE DRUMS!

  04:13:37 pm on February 1, 2012 |
   

• toddbarry: You stole the Mona Lisa & Hope Diamond in the same night & made it back for last call at Applebee's in Omaha? #smoothcriminal

  03:00:21 am on February 1, 2012 |
   

• toddbarry: You kidnapped my son during his piano lesson & stole the piano while I was clapping along to the song? #smoothcriminal

  02:55:52 am on February 1, 2012 |
   

• toddbarry: I will now participate in the trending topic #smoothcriminal

  02:49:51 am on February 1, 2012 |
   

• toddbarry: Mitt's speech had the same tone as that commercial for "Low T."

  02:44:07 am on February 1, 2012 |
   

• toddbarry: Mitt just used the word "goodies."

  02:41:52 am on February 1, 2012 |
   

• toddbarry: Attention songwriters: Lawrence O'Donnell just said "Chris just crystalized it." That line should be in your next hit single!

  01:25:36 am on February 1, 2012 |
   

• toddbarry: "Ed Schultz will be yelling in front of your house for a few hours. Sorry for the inconvenience." - MSNBC promo producer

  09:45:25 pm on January 31, 2012 |
   

• toddbarry: Woman who sings jingle for "over 50" dating service sounds like she's 19.

  08:59:48 pm on January 31, 2012 |
   

• toddbarry: RT @SFSketchfest: Feb 2 show w/ @robdelaney, @toddbarry & @nealbrennan SOLD OUT. See all three Feb 3 in Mapping The Heavens. See Todd Fe ...

  08:29:23 pm on January 31, 2012 |
   

• toddbarry: Too bad Twitter wasn't around when I saw Adrian Zmed at the post office years ago. All hell would've broken loose.

  08:12:23 pm on January 31, 2012 |
   

• toddbarry: I don't believe the Emergency Room said THAT! RT @iamdiddy "Nothing we learn in this world is ever wasted. " - ER

  05:03:38 pm on January 31, 2012 |
   

• toddbarry: Yes, you robbed my apartment, #ButWhatHurtsMeTheMost you left the window open, and it's a bit nippy outside!

  02:45:41 am on January 31, 2012 |
   

• toddbarry: Sure u left me for my best friend, #ButWhatHurtsMeTheMost is you never returned my Paula Cole CD.

  02:42:06 am on January 31, 2012 |
   

• toddbarry: By request! RT @TheRealDratch: i will now ask @toddbarry to participate in the trending topic #ButWhatHurtsMeTheMost

  02:39:21 am on January 31, 2012 |
   

• toddbarry: @MoontowerComedy Can I be in your festival?!

  01:19:24 am on January 31, 2012 |
   

• toddbarry: So u saved old lady from mugger w/1 hand while writing sizable check to worthwhile charity w/ the other? #ThatDoesNOTMakeYouCool

  12:13:32 am on January 31, 2012 |
   

• toddbarry: I will now participate in the trending topic #ThatDoesNOTMakeYouCool

  12:12:28 am on January 31, 2012 |
   

• toddbarry: #RulesInARelationship when u hook up w/ ur ex, please don't use the good Martha Stewart sheets I bought at KMart.

  11:57:06 pm on January 30, 2012 |
   

• toddbarry: #RulesInARelationship If u hook up w/ ur ex , don't tell him about bottle of Yoo Hoo I hid in refrigerator. I want 2 to drink that.

  11:55:05 pm on January 30, 2012 |
   

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